Tag Archives: social media

Lots of Rabbits, Lots of Holes

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As another year arrives on our doorstep, it’s time to predict the size and shape of the upcoming ride. Many like to entertain the possibilities of fresh starts, clean slates, or open roads. Others mark falling calendar pages as nothing more than the routine business of spinning clock hands. I sit somewhere outside both of those conceptualizations.

When daily existence is locked on a curve, turning endlessly around a fixed circle, it’s impossible to see what’s ahead. The looping, habitual mundanity of making only left turns doesn’t offer the freedom to target the horizon or look beyond the here and now. One foot in front of the other. Spin. Spin. Spin. Repeat.

But I am supremely grateful that the alignment of contemporary society and its increasingly isolated construction followed the trajectory of my unbalanced concoction of brain chemicals. The opposite would have been a living nightmare, and I can’t imagine what those who deeply crave human interaction and attachment are feeling right now.

When I was the happy-go-lucky party guy—ready for adventures and experiences, thrilled to be part of a bonded collective, and watched the world through optimistic eyes—the only way to achieve connection was through proximity and physical touch. Screens didn’t steal eye contact. Plans weren’t canceled or postponed with a last-minute text. We all seemed to stand on similar pages. Now we’re simply hidden away in covert caves, writing separate stories.

So, is this merely a chicken or egg scenario? Does the perpetual retreat of mankind into solitary silos cause our chemicals to shift at a biological level, or do we just adapt to whatever technological environment is presented to us? It’s a question that may not get answered until a few more generations have run the gauntlet.

But one thing is certain: If I still had the neurobiological makeup and sociable motor of my “former self” and was forced to navigate this modern minefield of dwindling attention spans, evasive maneuvering, and social media manipulation, I would have lost my mind even earlier.

Good luck to us all as we continue to jump, dodge, bob, and weave.

We’re going to need it.

Adolescence Interrupted

It’s Good to Be Great

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A half-assed, low-energy path of least resistance culture has produced a stagnating, lethargic, and apathetic society. Effort used to be something celebrated, and an eagerness to excel was applauded and lauded. Someone willing to go to extreme, sometimes unorthodox lengths to constantly create, tweak, and perfect was seen as an innovator worthy of respect and admiration.

Now, the people who are labeled as “excessive,” “obsessive,” or “unrelenting” are often ridiculed and mocked for their unwavering focus. A nagging irony exists that those who spend their lives consumed with problem-solving are precisely the people who deliver the technology, tools, and medical advances that exponentially benefit society. We desperately want the ends but can’t seem to respect or appreciate the means.

We are drowning in mediocrity, and it’s become impossible to walk down the street without running into a never-ending procession of Joe Schmoes, necks permanently drooping toward the bug-zapper blue light of the planet’s most addictive time suck. We seem to be perfectly delighted wasting our lives consuming nonsensical content, permanently affixed to the back seat of our own journey, happily and readily relinquishing all agency or even the notion of reaching for the wheel.

We far too often choose easy, simple, and fast over compelling, challenging, or complicated. Instant gratification and a zombie-like adherence to endlessly refreshing feeds have made us lazy, boring, and sad. Passion, for anything, is in dangerously short supply. Someday soon it may cease to exist altogether. 

You can’t force someone to be interesting or interested.

So what’s the solution? More of the same is obviously only leading to further mind-numbing isolation and an even greater reluctance to engage. That’s how problems are created, not solved. Left unchecked, this planet will continue to burn and decay, and we’ll be too enthralled with our devices to take notice or take action.

But we can start by appreciating and lifting up those who still have the will and courage to dedicate their time and attention to something bigger, heavier, and more consequential than app updates or comment notifications.

Adolescence Interrupted

Off the Radar

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In a sea of spotlights, where are the shadows?  With social media stalking, tireless geo tracking, and flashbulb-fanaticism waiting to pounce at every turn, the modern notion of privacy is a laughable replica of a bygone era. We are constantly held accountable to a faceless cyber public without even accepting the terms of the contract.

Our moves and minds are followed and noted. Our decisions are recorded and our secrets are revealed. We’re forced to tiptoe on top of vanishing ground, built from equal parts quicksand scrutiny and rash judgment. We cover tracks, erase browser histories, delete texts, and modify passwords. But is any of it necessary? Does anyone else really care what we’re doing? Isn’t everyone simply too busy tending to their gardens to keep track of their weird neighbor’s harvest? Our adherence to secrecy is probably born more from personal insecurity than driven by the fear of some blind existential bogeyman, waiting in the shadows to expose our various peccadilloes and indiscretions.

So what’s the fix? How can we shed the weight and stress of running away from prying eyes and curious ears? How do we ditch the peanut gallery gossip to find refuge in safer pastures? How can we quiet the static and silence that incessant buzz humming from every invisible corner of our lives?

Slide off the radar.

If you don’t want attention, stop asking for it. If a sense of peace is paramount, construct your foundation from the concrete of sturdy self-assurance, courage, and mettle. Muffle the critics by exiting the circus.

There’s a world of balance waiting inside the tranquility of an uninterrupted moment.

Don’t fear the off button. Embrace it.

Adolescence Interrupted

Strangers in a Strange Land

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The rules have been rewritten. The destination is hazy. The compass is hiding.

We are a people lost in the desert, on a search for solutions, seeking the meaning behind the motivation. But separation sits at the heart of the aimlessness, and a world that promised constant connection has failed to deliver.

With eyeballs perpetually fixed on blue light screens, we have chosen the velvety warm hug of cushioned insulation over the highly unpredictable and uncontrollable task of thorny socialization.

Even the most gregarious of today’s butterflies couldn’t come close to flapping wings with any of the prior pre-phone/pre-internet generations. Technology was supposed to shrink the isolation gap. Instead, it only widened the chasm. We falsely believe we’re all inseparable, but we couldn’t be more distant.

Rates of depression are skyrocketing, and a youth culture subjected to a daily barrage of hurtful slander and forced comparison is rotting our self-esteem at its core. Humans are bonding with machines and filling days, weeks, and months with passive entertainment. Get up and go simply sat down and stopped.

Apathy, avoidance, disengagement, laziness, rapidly deteriorating health, hopelessness, and general malaise can all be traced to a simple, obvious starting line. When we collectively plugged in, we all tuned out.

Looks like Timothy Leary was Nostradamus.

Adolescence Interrupted

Make Your Mark…Then Move It

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“I think that the power is the principle. The principle of moving forward, as though you have the confidence to move forward, eventually gives you confidence when you look back and see what you’ve done.”– Robert Downey Jr.

“We must be willing to let go of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.”– Joseph Campbell

Neat stacks and tidy rows. Organized uniformity. Controlled outcomes and throttled variables. Just the sound of the phrases evokes a soothing sense of inner peace.

Unfortunately, that’s not the game, and those aren’t the rules.

We live in a perpetual Indiana Jones boulder chase world, and the only constant is a complete lack of command over where and when those pitfalls break free from their hiding places to surprise us with a spiky slip into an unlucky situation.

Instead of a laser-locked focus on permanence, maybe the best we can hope for is a clear footprint, created from a confident plant of our boots in the mud, ready to be washed away with the next day’s rain. We don’t necessarily need ownership of a name remembered for generations, but making a mark is an important pursuit, even if it’s a daily one.

Navigating social media scoreboards and spinning inside a constant comparison culture can diminish individual victories and discount incremental gains by shining a brighter light on the checkered flag than the gravel on the ground. But reaching any finish line is accomplished by first taking one step, and then another.

Humans exist inside the center of a dynamic tornado. We spend the majority of our waking moments dodging the debris. There is only here and there is only now.

Celebrate your wins. Recognize the effort required. Take stock. Plant your flag…and then move it.

Adolescence Interrupted

Dropping a Rope Ladder into the Dark

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Sometimes the loudest cries don’t make a sound.

Sometimes a helping hand gets slapped away.

Sometimes the reluctance to engage should be ignored.

Sometimes people just need to feel heard.

Sometimes it gets dark…very dark.

These days I have found myself at the base of a conundrum. There are a few vitally important individuals in my life who appear to be struggling with weighted shoulders and bleak prospects, whether concrete or concocted, and I’m not exactly sure how to be of service.

Everyone possesses a unique web of mental wiring, and this is certainly not a “one-size-fits-all” situation. Whatever has caused the drop—situational/lifestyle circumstances, chemical shifts, etc.—is something specific to the individual and should be approached with care, concern, and respect.

It is difficult to see the light when you’re drowning in the dark, and no amount of positivity or forced perspective about future prospects does much to impact the present. There’s no value in describing the colors of a sunset to someone wearing a blindfold. The goal must be to meet them where they’re stuck, grab some shovels, and start digging. Eventually, a few rays of sunlight will penetrate the cracks.

It hurts my heart to know that my friends are suffering. We live in a world where it’s easy to feel bombarded by expectations or to sink in the mud of unrealized aspirations. We are shown a picture-perfect, Photoshopped world of flawless smiling faces and successful peers knocking one feat or adventure after another off their carefully curated bucket lists while we look at old photos and wonder where the last decade disappeared. But when feeling bummed becomes feeling lost, it’s time to intervene.

There is not a manual for this sort of thing, and it may take stubbing some toes into bedposts before we find the clearest path. But our loved ones who have drawn the curtains and pulled the shades are not being subtle…even if they think they’re wearing a good disguise. We see through the slits on the side of that molded mask and we know it’s not your face.

I’ll bring the shovels. Please let me help you dig.

Adolescence Interrupted

The Consequence of Inaction

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As we race to outrun imaginary deadlines set by our own unbending need to measure achievement and self-worth against an arbitrary yardstick, I can’t help but think of the mountains of wasted minutes that sit in a heap at our feet.

We’re always late, rushed, cramming far too much into far too small a window, and wondering how morning seems to sneakily turn into afternoon. We complain that “there are never enough hours in a day” and we lament an adjusted project deliverable date like it’s the end of life as we know it.

But how much of the blame sits on our shoulders? If we factor in countless distractions, daydreaming, social media addiction, and procrastination, how much more time would be available for real productivity? Is it simply a part of the human condition to crave a focus reset or soothe an overworked brain with mindless activity? Or has a society that’s built on the backbone of a dwindling collective attention span created manic little monsters who feel like they’re tackling task after task when they’re simply spinning circles in the sand?

As eye contact, basic social skills, and the English language continue to die a speedy death, I’d probably go with the latter. On a macrocosmic level, that’s pretty terrifying. But maybe the demands of a modern workplace are simply setting the foundation for a technological future in which we all function like poorly programmed robots, unable to attend meetings, complete assignments, or even arrive on time without megadoses of psychotropics buzzing in our bloodstreams.

Evolution? Hmmm…

We’re hurtling toward The Singularity, and I’m sure all these tendencies will be wildly useful when we merge man and machine, but there’s still a piece of me that thinks there’s something pretty special about a handcrafted wooden table, and the skill and focus required to start and finish.

Adolescence Interrupted