It’s been over a decade since I’ve been on a date or even entertained the remote notion of glancing at a dating app. Tucked into my Floridian solitude like the lone survivor of some catastrophic ELE, I’ve made my peace with the silence, introspective overload, and general patterns of a “desert island” day-to-day.

But maybe Dax feels differently.

Perhaps there is a wider, more colorful, and more rewarding world waiting just outside our clearly demarcated comfort zone.

I worry about his increasing reactivity and the “constantly on duty” burden he seems to bear as soon as we’re three feet from the front door. He’s very energetic, and that prodigious Irish Setter prey instinct runs in his blood. So I try to empathize with his insatiable need to pull, run, sniff, and explore. But maybe some consistent canine companionship would help quell some of that manic “enthusiasm.”

Plus, the idea of building a like-minded community here in Tampa is not without value or merit. My nutso, overthinking, and animal-obsessed vegan brain could probably benefit from meeting others who prefer to read from similar pages. There’s only so much annoying lecturing one can do in an empty room.

So I dipped my partially inflated floaties into the kiddie pool of this alleged modern miracle of human connection, explicitly stating that my primary goal is finding a best bud for my best bud.

I’m no easy dance partner, and the odds might be heavily stacked against me magically discovering folks who check those narrowly drawn boxes. But I was fairly detailed in my bio and, in true Schuyler style, happily placed my cards on the table…even the ones normally reserved for my sleeve.

Luckily, Dax is so damn handsome and naturally magnetic that dropping him center stage just might be a recipe for success in this crazy snake pit.

Time to get swiping. Yikes.

Adolescence Interrupted

…and stop killing animals.