Tag Archives: sidekick

When We Become the Pets

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“Will there be another race toCome along and take over for us?Maybe Martians could doBetter than we’ve done.We’ll make great pets.”  —Perry Farrell

As the impending AI takeover looms ever nearer, I’m left wondering what role humans will ultimately play in this brave new world. Vastly intellectually inferior, physically substandard, and void of any real, material relevance on a planet that can no longer justify our existence, theories are floating that we will primarily occupy a space most closely related to the family pet.

AI will marvel at our laughable innocence, wonder why our lives are so restricted and finite, and be baffled by how much we sleep. It may find us endearing and sweet as we endlessly struggle with the simplest tasks. It will provide us with little games and challenges, delighting in watching us endeavor to solve a puzzle, complete an assignment, or rectify a problem.

We will function solely as subservient companions and sources of entertainment for these exceptionally evolved entities. Terrified of being abandoned, neglected, or starved, we will do whatever is necessary to preserve our basic needs. This could include excessive affection, blatant, exaggerated displays of loyalty, or unwarranted exhibitions of fiercely protective safeguarding in the face of zero danger.

Humans will likely see one another in public, but we will remain wary of these strangers’ intentions or ulterior motives and may initiate random, competitive acts of aggression to show that we are the AI’s best choice for a sidekick.

Our sadly short lives will be spent in absolute, unwavering service to this all-knowing, all-controlling being.

Guess we can send those polished resumes to the shredder.

Adolescence Interrupted

Do Not Pass Go

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stop1“Our goals can only be reached through a vehicle of a plan, in which we must fervently believe, and upon which we must vigorously act. There is no other route to success.”  —Pablo Picasso

Well, I have found a familiar friend in the rubble of my recent implosion. That sidekick is resilience.

I have been challenged, stomped on, and set off course more times in this life than I can begin to count. But there is one constant, and that is my bionic ability to rebound and strategize. With eyes wide, I find a way to see beyond the flames to find some piece of solace and security on the other side.

Being a hopeful thinker is certainly helpful, but something starts in the gut and propels me past the chaos of the sandstorm and into placid pastures. I am more than grateful for this gift, and I can thank the ruthless brain surgeries for building my armor. Drilling a sense of possibility and perspective into a head that would rather obey instincts by cowering in the corner, adversity has ultimately become an asset.

Now, I can’t for a second say that I relish the consistent destruction of my plans, but I can take pride in the way those broken pieces are observed, analyzed, gathered, and disposed of in an almost-mechanical manner. I waste no time on tears when the next chapter is waiting to be written.

Flexibility and perseverance have become fine bedfellows, and I eagerly anticipate the day those red lights finally flash green.

Adolescence Interrupted