Tag Archives: self-esteem

The Disease of Excess

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“Greed is a bottomless pit which exhausts the person in an endless effort to satisfy the need without ever reaching satisfaction.” —Erich Fromm

“Greed is the disease of discontentment.” —Miguel Ruiz

“Greed is not a financial issue. It’s a heart issue.” —Andy Stanley

Is enough ever enough? Society’s obsession with excess is like an uncontrolled cancer…infecting, disabling, and destroying us from the core. This sad, sick need for more “things” is the metastasization of a collective crippling inadequacy, falsely convincing us that more toys, cars, and vacations mean the Swiss cheese holes of our disintegrating self-esteem will suddenly, magically be made whole.

On an inexhaustible quest to collect and possess, the plastered porcelain smiles and lifeless eyes tell a story of meaningless mundanity presented as aspiration, not the satisfied rewards earned from pouring passion into purpose.

Yet, we adjust the blinders, focus that familiar tunnel vision, and ignore the fact that being a king who sits on top of a mountain of shit is not a symbol of any powerful ascendancy. It’s a sad reflection of the countless sagging, sore shoulders it took to propel him to the peak.

Native Americans believed that a single member of the group absconding off with the spoils of the hunt—hoarding resources without sharing anything with the rest of the tribe—signaled a form of mental illness. An individual thinking that he or she was more worthy or important than the community was unfathomable.

Now, this abhorrent behavior is praised and idolized, without even a hint of ironic recognition.

Medical professionals constantly report and warn of a national mental health crisis and the implications and dangers of its unabated growth.

Looks like we may have to widen the parameters of that research.

Adolescence Interrupted

Self-Actualized or Dead Inside?

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“When people appear to be something other than good and decent, it is only because they are reacting to stress, pain, or the deprivation of basic human needs such as security, love, and self-esteem.”  —Abraham Maslow

Is walking through this world entirely untroubled by the perspective or judgment of any other human being indicative of some Buddhist-like sense of self-assurance, or is it simply born from a perpetually hollow, empty core that sits like a dry well, incapable of registering the emotional message being delivered by my fellow carbon-based cronies?

Lately, I’ve been pondering this odd dissonance and trying to arrive at some definitive conclusions.

I am not unaware of criticisms. I am simply unaffected by them.

I value opinions and suggestions from those I admire and respect, but I am not easily swayed to re-examine my stance, reconsider my position, or reverse course without a period of prolonged, thoughtful scrutiny. Generally, my initial view remains intact, with some slight, subtle alterations to the foundation. 

I welcome feedback but am not impacted by negative reviews, harsh critiques, or unfavorable assessments. Like a stream of words in water, passing by on their way to another destination, I see the shapes and textures but never get wet.

I rarely experience hurt feelings, jealousy, envy, or desire of any kind. 

I celebrate the success of others as opposed to resenting it, but I never want to trade lives or circumstances with someone else.

The monotony of this hamster wheel hell called human existence never compels me to cheat, steal, or manipulate my way to a higher status or social position. Who has the most toys, followers, or fans is entirely irrelevant. Material possessions and ego-driven adoration are nothing but anvils affixed to our necks.

As elusive as the pursuit often feels, I strive to find balance and equity in all things, and I reject the notion that people in power positions have the right to discard or diminish the efforts of those so easily and thoughtlessly sequestered and banished to some concocted concept of a lower group, caste, or class.

I routinely rage at my own blinding inability to maintain full control in an increasingly uncontrollable world, and I’m baffled by the discordant mindsets of those who are perfectly comfortable following the false god of public opinion while swallowing endless twisted stats and facts like kids overdosing on Halloween candy.

Hmm. Guess I can scratch self-actualized off the list.

Adolescence Interrupted

I Believe in You

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I’m a big fan…of everyone else.

For some reason, I can see limitless potential and promise in the work and dreams of others. It’s easy to be a support system, offering encouragement and positive feedback, without an ounce of back-scratching reciprocity in mind. I love to celebrate people’s successes and revel in their triumphs—giant wins or tiny victories.

Even though I have generally found myself in fairly competitive fields and dog-eat-dog cities, there was never jealousy, envy, or any desire to trade positions with those who seemed to be riding a golden chariot to bigger and brighter futures. I simply saluted them as they passed through the clouds.

It’s exciting to witness a friend or loved one harnessing some hidden potential or exploring a particular passion. A sense of admiration and pride fill the space where bitterness or resentment could easily reside. I’ve always thought it was just lucky wiring to be free of that kind of burden—comparing my station or level of self-actualization to my peers. But I think it’s a bit more complex.

First, an interesting dichotomy is at play since I’m wildly competitive in so many areas of my life (tennis, board games, etc.), but feel absolutely no need to find rivals or adversaries in the work world. I hold fervent beliefs and opinions about almost everything, and I have zero reservations engaging in heated debates about endless topics. I will go to ridiculous lengths to defend a stance or point of view, but when it comes to status, career, or social standing, I gladly and regularly relinquish my spot in line. Why?

By maintaining an “army of one” existence and basic life philosophy, there is plenty of satisfaction found from the simple act of meeting minimal core needs. A solid sense of security and a healthy inner circle are almost all that’s on my list. I’m sure a depleted self-esteem reserve and a backlog of darts that stuck just left of the bullseye haven’t helped my cause. But the core code was written long before the swings and misses, and I’m grateful for the ability to be a cheerleader for those around me.

Some shoot for the stars, and some look for the best soil to bury the stake. Comfortably in the camp of the latter, I prefer a foundation that remains right where I left it.

Adolescence Interrupted