Tag Archives: rabbit hole

Lots of Rabbits, Lots of Holes

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As another year arrives on our doorstep, it’s time to predict the size and shape of the upcoming ride. Many like to entertain the possibilities of fresh starts, clean slates, or open roads. Others mark falling calendar pages as nothing more than the routine business of spinning clock hands. I sit somewhere outside both of those conceptualizations.

When daily existence is locked on a curve, turning endlessly around a fixed circle, it’s impossible to see what’s ahead. The looping, habitual mundanity of making only left turns doesn’t offer the freedom to target the horizon or look beyond the here and now. One foot in front of the other. Spin. Spin. Spin. Repeat.

But I am supremely grateful that the alignment of contemporary society and its increasingly isolated construction followed the trajectory of my unbalanced concoction of brain chemicals. The opposite would have been a living nightmare, and I can’t imagine what those who deeply crave human interaction and attachment are feeling right now.

When I was the happy-go-lucky party guy—ready for adventures and experiences, thrilled to be part of a bonded collective, and watched the world through optimistic eyes—the only way to achieve connection was through proximity and physical touch. Screens didn’t steal eye contact. Plans weren’t canceled or postponed with a last-minute text. We all seemed to stand on similar pages. Now we’re simply hidden away in covert caves, writing separate stories.

So, is this merely a chicken or egg scenario? Does the perpetual retreat of mankind into solitary silos cause our chemicals to shift at a biological level, or do we just adapt to whatever technological environment is presented to us? It’s a question that may not get answered until a few more generations have run the gauntlet.

But one thing is certain: If I still had the neurobiological makeup and sociable motor of my “former self” and was forced to navigate this modern minefield of dwindling attention spans, evasive maneuvering, and social media manipulation, I would have lost my mind even earlier.

Good luck to us all as we continue to jump, dodge, bob, and weave.

We’re going to need it.

Adolescence Interrupted

The Past Is Writing Letters to the Present

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Lately, I have had a growing interest in the exploration of my roots, my past, and the road that has been walked by those whose faces I’ve never seen. It started as simple genetic curiosity, wondering where my family had been…and where it was most likely going. But it evolved into a headfirst obituary deep dive. Who were these people? How did they live? What pieces of the past were they passing down through the generations?

Based on a Yahtzee cup shake and toss, I was given a randomized mix of cells on a blank sheet of source code. A hand with tightly crossed fingers let the dice fly, and with that action, a tiny carbon being with multiple lifetimes’ worth of history behind him was let loose on the planet.

But how much of our journey is dictated by these former lives, specific hardwiring, and our core composition? Will the decisions we make and the path we think we have the power to choose ever be able to supersede a wet-inked blueprint just waiting for us to finish our scripted sentences while monitoring that straight-line slide from point A to point B?

I can’t remember my father’s face.

I keep trying to visualize what he looked like, especially at my age, but there’s a dark spot in my mind and I can’t complete the picture. I think that’s probably what pushed me onto this tangent. Then, as always, that small spark ignited an obsessive interest in exceptionally complex scientific information that led me down rabbit hole after rabbit hole. Ultimately, all I learned was that I probably need someone on standby with a mental lasso to save me from myself and pull me back into focus.

Still, the notion that we are all just pieces of the present delivering messages from the past is a fascinating and baffling concept. It goes beyond simply having your “grandpa’s eyes.” When you frame your entire existence in the context of human beings as living, breathing time capsules, it brings a greater sense of purpose and responsibility into focus.

So honor the past by making the most of the present…especially if you’re the last of your line.

Adolescence Interrupted